There's a piece missing from the mosaic

Life is like a mosaic : it's made out of millions of tiny pieces and when all of them seem to align , you can say that your life is full and then you can be happy. But what happens when you realize that big parts are missing from it ?That your life has gaps in it and that's so hard to fill them ?
You might think I'm pretty superficial for saying this ,but : I want to lose weight . I want to look like a model , I want to be able to wear short or tight dresses , I want to wear shorts. And it's so darn hard to do it ! Some of you might say : but you don't need to lose any weight , you look just fine . Well, I don't . And for that matter , it's getting pretty serious.
I just got on my eighth diet day and it seems impossible to move any more ahead. I don't really see any use to it and it seems like I won't ever be able to reach any goal regarding my figure. I feel this urge to eat a bagel and a chocolate croissant and it's eating me inside !
And I most certainly not want to spend my life wearing loose trousers and dresses . Because , in the end , it all comes down to this.

I am sorry for all the blabbering .